Those chao recruit days...

Chao recruit is what all newly enlisted fresh soldiers are being labelled. The origin of this label is not known but i guess it is due to their body odour. Almost spending three quarters of the time(with the remaining one quarter visiting medical centre, sleeping, chao geng, do pumping, do push up) under the hot sun doing some warfare training, its of no wonder that those recruit smell badly.

The most funny thing is that once you put on the green camo uniform, smell and dirt almost become non existance to you. Upon reminiscing those good old days, i wonder how i could stand the stench coming out of my uniform which has not been washed for 1 week. And everybody seems to develop a fetish for their smelly uniform. I mean, when you wash your clothes, it is natural for you, after hanging the clothes out in the sun, to smell the freshness that are emitted out from the clothes. But, i realised in the army, after we hang out the SOILED clothing out to dry( dry our sweat), we still smell those clothes, as though it has been freshly washed. And this action is repeated everytime a soldier go take his clothes from the laundry line.

Also, like i said, we sort of become oblivious to the smell and dirt when we wear those fighting garb. We can sleep anywhere, any place, any time. If you ask me, to sleep anywhere, at any place and at any time with me wearing my t-shirt and jeans, i don't think i could do that.

The army is just like a huge boy school. The official language spoke inside is hokkien, singlish with lots of vulgarities spew added into our speech. No one to mind our Ps and Qs,we can dig our nose everywhere, we can appear half naked and walk from bunk to bunk. No one to tell us to speak proper english also. It's a totally carefree life. We did study inside the army like what we do in school. However the 2 most favourite subject are mathematics and geography. Often, we would discuss the vital stats of those bikini babes featured on the front cover of the magazines. The recommanded text book, or should i say, text mag is FHM. Fight or quarrels could be resolved with just a FHM in hand.It's power is undisputable.

As for geography, we can now navigate the winding lorongs of geylang without any difficulties. No GPS system needed.

In the army, every month is the seventh month. I often wonder why those spirits or ghosts or whatever do not stake out innocent and clueless young men of age 18 at their HDB flats, on the dancefloor of Zouk or in the toilet. Of all places, they must shout Boo at them in the army. And i think those spirit is omnipresent. The sergeant from Jurong camp will tell you that he saw fatimah sitting at the top of the jackob ladder of their camp. But when you ask that sentry guard in Nee Soon, he will tell you he saw fatimah sitting at the top of the jackob ladder also. Best of all, her presence has even been sighted in Pulau Tekong, Singapore off shore training isle. The ability of being sighted at different places at the same time is, interesting.

We do not usually walk in the army, we run. From place to place, we are being told to "double up". When we run, we would always feel oxygen is lacking. But this is not the case in those army adverts you saw in the tv. Those soldiers can run, without opening their mouth and breathe! I mean this is unbelievable. Either they breathe through their nose or they didn't breathe at all! But when you run at that pace and you breathe using your nose, the oxygen intake will not be enough for your body. So the question is, how do those soldiers in the advert manage to do it? Is that a real protrayal? When you sign on, are you those hopefuls who think you can run along the uneven terrain for 1 hour or so at a speed of completing 2.4km in under 10 min with the 10kg bag behind you, plus your wife and yet you do not need to breathe and can still achieve that feat?

Yesterday i was envious and jealous. When i am waiting for the MRT , i saw 2 chao recruits in the first cabin. Thinking that they must have book out for having fever or something, i do not feel anything. But when the second cabin , the third and all right up to the last, i saw recruits after recuits. So many of them! And suddenly it occur to me that now, they only need to train for 5 days. But booking out in the afternoon?! It mean they only train for 4 and a half days! I was jealous. Why the 2 yrs deduction, the 5 working days scheme did not start when i was a recruit?

However soon my anger and jealousy were appeased when i discover that there is this pretty, young sexy thing sitted opposite me, has such nice pair of legs and i quickly rekindled with the maths skills that i learned in the army. But, that is another story......