( the following piece is taken from another blogger by the name of erik. http://www.xanga.com/erikhagen . ALL GUYS should read it and i mean ALL GUYS)
When you're overly controlling, it gives off the impression that you don't trust her. If she really wants to go to a club, she'll go, but she'll just lie to you about it reaffirming your lack of trust, and it's kind of a cycle. The more you don't trust her and feel the need to control her, the more she has to lie to do the things she wants causing you to mistrust her even more when you find out. And it's so dumb to think that holding her back from going to a few parties is going to help her not cheat on you. If the girl really wants to cheat, she isn't dumb, she would find a way.
Also, when you're over protective, it really makes you look insecure and pathetic. Deep inside, you know that girls like confident guys, and that being a pussy will make her like you less. And that might be part of the reason why you feel like you need to be controlling, is that because girls cheat on pussies with confident manly men, and you don't want that to happen to you. Why don't you just be a better boyfriend; If you were a manly man, they wouldn't cheat on you with a pussy, you'd be everything they are looking for.
It seems like the only good thing that comes from being a controlling boyfriend is that you show you really care about her, or at least about not loosing her. Unfortunately, there are much better ways to show her that you care. And everyone including her knows this. Instead of showing her you care by getting mad at her when other guys smile at her, why not buy her flowers or take her on a picnic.
I'm not saying to act like you don't care if she's obviously taking the first steps to cheat on you. I'm just saying that if you know she loves you, then be confident in that and trust her more instead of being a pussy ass bitch.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Monday, October 17, 2005
What is your saddest moment?
Today i was at the hospital, helping my dad to do the discharged procedure for his discharge. As i walked passed the rows of bed, i heard this buddhist hymn. Yes, that song u heard when u visit a buddhist columbarium or at a wake. That hymn where it just repeat itself. So i turned and looked, i saw this frail old man, lying there, with an oxtgen mask strapped over his face. That look on his face, i know his lungs is failing him. His time on Earth is getting shorter and shorter. That same face, remind me of my grandfather.
When i was young, i often thought the saddest moment of my life is when i get caned for something i do wrongly. It was painful and most importantly, scars were left on my thigh and hands and i would worried that how could i face those sneering laugher when i get to school.
When i reached secondary school and when the mind began to be even more concious of the environment, the saddest part of my life is when i couldn't get into triple science class or double science. Its kind of stupid, now that i think back as to why teachers discourage students of going into the arts classes when they set up the class? But it spur me to work even harder, although i couldn't qualified for a science class.
When i failed my A level, thats it, the end of the world. My future was left hanging, suspended in the air. That is the first time i actually shed tears over results and the first time my mum never scold me for my results.
Just as i thought that getting trashy results was my saddest part, my grandpa passed away on 2001, near christmas time. The first time i witnessed a life, slowing ebbing away on the hospital bed, and when he acknowledge me as i greet him, he was in a semi-coma stage. At 7.30pm, he went. I remembered i cry buckets of tears during his wake and especially so when the coffin was being pushed into the furnace.
The saddest part of my life, is not about trashy results, is not about failing to go into a relationship with a girl i like for a very very long time, is not about arguing with your lecturers or getting frustrated with somebody else. The saddest part for me, is that your love ones departed, never to be returned, alive in your memories only.
For me, it has such an impact, the witnessing of my grandad demise, prove to be such a source of energy for me. For once, i truly understand the saying:" life is short".
Life is so short that you can't have time for small matters.
Life is short that you want the person you liked to be happy and not be bothered by you and thats why you stop wooing her.
Life is so short that you mustn't let your loved one down, especially your parents, that you must stop living a frivolous life but start to plan for your well-being and theirs.
And at the end of the day, you won't know whether you can say to yourself" i am alive!" tomorrow.
The saddest part of it all, is not to treasure and make full use of life.
When i was young, i often thought the saddest moment of my life is when i get caned for something i do wrongly. It was painful and most importantly, scars were left on my thigh and hands and i would worried that how could i face those sneering laugher when i get to school.
When i reached secondary school and when the mind began to be even more concious of the environment, the saddest part of my life is when i couldn't get into triple science class or double science. Its kind of stupid, now that i think back as to why teachers discourage students of going into the arts classes when they set up the class? But it spur me to work even harder, although i couldn't qualified for a science class.
When i failed my A level, thats it, the end of the world. My future was left hanging, suspended in the air. That is the first time i actually shed tears over results and the first time my mum never scold me for my results.
Just as i thought that getting trashy results was my saddest part, my grandpa passed away on 2001, near christmas time. The first time i witnessed a life, slowing ebbing away on the hospital bed, and when he acknowledge me as i greet him, he was in a semi-coma stage. At 7.30pm, he went. I remembered i cry buckets of tears during his wake and especially so when the coffin was being pushed into the furnace.
The saddest part of my life, is not about trashy results, is not about failing to go into a relationship with a girl i like for a very very long time, is not about arguing with your lecturers or getting frustrated with somebody else. The saddest part for me, is that your love ones departed, never to be returned, alive in your memories only.
For me, it has such an impact, the witnessing of my grandad demise, prove to be such a source of energy for me. For once, i truly understand the saying:" life is short".
Life is so short that you can't have time for small matters.
Life is short that you want the person you liked to be happy and not be bothered by you and thats why you stop wooing her.
Life is so short that you mustn't let your loved one down, especially your parents, that you must stop living a frivolous life but start to plan for your well-being and theirs.
And at the end of the day, you won't know whether you can say to yourself" i am alive!" tomorrow.
The saddest part of it all, is not to treasure and make full use of life.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Misplaced sympathy?
Today (08/10/05) if u have read the straits time forum section, you would noticed an entry by a mdm named assoc prof lee weiling. To those ignorant of who she is, she is the daughter of MM lee and some big shot in neuroscience. Neuroscience i think is those docs who specialised in the brains. The entry seems to see that the public donations to the siamese twins, huang na, the yishun siblings and some other unfortunate kids are being "unwisely" donated.
Why is this so? Well take for instance the nepal siamese twins case. Although their body is separated, yet they seems to be worse off as one is in a semi vegetable state and the other is sort of have a less than average IQ. For the yishun twins, they went all the way to taiwan for the separation which they could be done in singapore at a lesser cost. But it seems the yishun twins ability to walk with clutches are only temporary and now they are mostly bedridden. As for huang na, the money donated to her is of no use as she is dead.
After reading this entry, it set me thinking. Its true that singaporean love to donate to whatever cause. However, our kindness, has it really been misplaced? I don't know really.
For instance, the nepalese twins. To the public, seeing such cases, which are rare in singapore, bring about astonishment and sadness. Perhaps because in singapore there is practically no siamese twins, thats why people are anxious when they arrived here. And seeing them in that state, we donate money hoping them to be separated as a perfectly human has only 2 sets of limbs, 1 head and a torso. I don't think the public is aware or think about the implication of how are they going to survive when they are separated. I don't think the public know that they will become like that after separated.
The public donate out of goodwill. Although singaporean love to complain, but we donate out of goodwill really. So i don't think its misplaced sympathy or whatever. Perhaps the only people to blame for the predicement is the doctors. They are know their stuff, yet they performed the operation. I don't think its for the money but rather for the limelight for themselves and the hospital.
No matter what, public donation are a form of empathy for the less fortunate in this country. They musn't be discouraged.
Why is this so? Well take for instance the nepal siamese twins case. Although their body is separated, yet they seems to be worse off as one is in a semi vegetable state and the other is sort of have a less than average IQ. For the yishun twins, they went all the way to taiwan for the separation which they could be done in singapore at a lesser cost. But it seems the yishun twins ability to walk with clutches are only temporary and now they are mostly bedridden. As for huang na, the money donated to her is of no use as she is dead.
After reading this entry, it set me thinking. Its true that singaporean love to donate to whatever cause. However, our kindness, has it really been misplaced? I don't know really.
For instance, the nepalese twins. To the public, seeing such cases, which are rare in singapore, bring about astonishment and sadness. Perhaps because in singapore there is practically no siamese twins, thats why people are anxious when they arrived here. And seeing them in that state, we donate money hoping them to be separated as a perfectly human has only 2 sets of limbs, 1 head and a torso. I don't think the public is aware or think about the implication of how are they going to survive when they are separated. I don't think the public know that they will become like that after separated.
The public donate out of goodwill. Although singaporean love to complain, but we donate out of goodwill really. So i don't think its misplaced sympathy or whatever. Perhaps the only people to blame for the predicement is the doctors. They are know their stuff, yet they performed the operation. I don't think its for the money but rather for the limelight for themselves and the hospital.
No matter what, public donation are a form of empathy for the less fortunate in this country. They musn't be discouraged.
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